A couple of thoughts have occurred to me over the past two months of my new role as Mum, and I think it’s about time I shared them (with a couple of cute pics to keep you riveted)
Such sweet slumber
Mums in nature
Over the past few years, and especially while being pregnant, my conversation with many female friends/family has been about how I shouldn’t loose sight of taking care of myself when I become a new mum. Visualise the stereotypical new mum who has no time to brush her teeth, let along colour her hair, manicure her nails, or take a break to have coffee with a friend. This image is the antithesis of what every woman wants for herself, and it seems insane that anyone would let this happen. So with all good intentions, while being at home the past weeks, I’ve done my best to do the simple things, like put on a lick of makeup where possible, wear a pretty skirt at home, and even just get into the garden to get some sun on my face if I have a a second.
Reality is though, I’ve found assimilating this new role in my mind, as well as simply getting used to being a milk machine, and dealing with the suicide hours in the evenings, and little sleep at night, has taken its toll on me, and I’ve found it tough to ‘remember myself’ most of the time!
The cute lady!
BUT – I’ve realised that feeling guilty about ‘neglecting’ oneself is completely unfair, and negates a huge part of beginning this new stage of our lives, that mums in the natural world experience almost ceremoniously.
The cute man!
In the waters off our Cape Town coast, Southern Right whales spend many weeks calving and teaching their young every year! They travel hundreds of kilometers to reach the calmer waters of Walker Bay, and hoards of whale watchers enjoy a view of them as they frolic close to the coast.
I love this shot - somehow they look like they're floating
The reason I mention these whales? Well, did you know that while these mum whales are pregnant, and then calving, they don’t eat at all! Many birds also fast while sitting on eggs, denying themself food in order to care for and warm their clutch.
So I honestly can’t help thinking that self denial, or at least minimising, and focusing solely on those little babies is an instinctive, honourable drive that deserves respect and acknowledgement.
Onesie Wonderfulness
Fortunately, the last two weeks or so I’m finding myself in a much better position to be able to take a breath – feel like a normal adult – more like the real me, so clearly this stage is transitioning to a new one. And I’m not pretending that the tough part is over (It certainly isn’t – try sleep training TWO screaming babies!!??). But I’m glad I’m able to recognize these feelings, and would like to say I truly respect and admire all other mothers who go through these same moments! You’ve got the most powerful instincts and hormones to deal with, and as long as you give yourself some credit, and rely on those around you that love you for help and support, you’ll get through it.
My tips: Hand those little tikes to a willing granny or aunty, and get some sleep – even just an hour! Also – and most importantly – take a moment to take your husband/partner’s hand and quickly say “Thanks – I love you”! Remember – the two of you had children BECAUSE you love each other and want to materialise that love! The love doesn’t disappear when baby arrives – it still needs to be nurtured and cared for in order for your babies to get the best experience in a family!
Right – better post this quickly before the next adventure of the day begins!
Love Thyself 